Been real busy guys, I'm super sorry!

I have this tendency to socially withdraw during the summer months and towards the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays. I am trying my best not to this year but I've a feeling I'm gonna fail. It's already starting.

Still working on my art, I got caught up in IRL stuff. I'm also getting advice and whatnot to further improve my stuff so, it's been slow going ya'll. I am trying however.

So, I don't use labels let alone talk about my personal life much online, and I'm also sorry for double posting within the month. I am therefore, keeping this brief and vague: had a recent surprise happen in my life, one that I was never expecting and was happy living the rest of my life never finding, and the fire I had that died when I hit 21 has returned in full force.

With this change however, I gotta really step up my real life stuff, which may include doing my best to find some sort of job even though my exact situation for such job variability is... well, yea. Complicated.

The news on my passion project that I've now been working on for a good 13 years... I'm gonna do my best to try juggling it rather than setting it aside for another however many years until I have time to sit down with it. I'm also going to be working on my art so that I can end up doing commissions and earning a decent chunk of money doing that. That's whats up, that's the news.

I hope ya'll are doing well, I'll post this awesome piece when I'm finally done with it.

It's ALREADY MAY?!

Oh goodness me. Well, here, I'll share a WIP with ya'll:

This is before I had perspective broken down for me by a very skilled artist that does mentoring as his job, won't say his name because he is a very busy guy who took a wee bit of time out of his day to throw me a free tip. Since I'm doing SO many new things with this piece, it's taking a bit. Either way, here you go! Almost been one year since I returned to art.

A real surprise ain't it?

Aside from my door being violently gusted by some wind into my face, resulting in a black eye and swollen nose, I am very much alive.

My apologies for, as always, lack of posting. I've been distracted, busy, and otherwise just trying to make it to the end of the day lately, as most of us are doing. Still battling super perfectionist me, but I hope this next thing I post will be satisfactory to not just myself. Whenever and whatever that may be, since I've had a lot of improvement and growth since the end of January that it's just been difficult to post anything. See ya'll around!

Should I post more concepts to my account or just keep them to the thread? I personally don't really count them to be... much, considering they're simple A Poses that use the symmetry tool. I use that to define things because past me had a problem of not making clean enough concepts, which made it difficult for future me to interpret.

I know at the end of the day, decision IS up to me. But I do value people's outside opinions too. Lay em on me if you feel so inclined, if not, that's cool too!

So, this isn't quite imposter syndrome but same time, kinda is? And I don't know why I feel this way considering I'm only posting my art for myself? So, I find myself doubting people are genuine when they say they love my art, and want to read my comic. And then I also feel like my art is inadequate as well, to a slightly negative degree. It's odd.

I'm thinking maybe I've just had too many negative things ever said to me in my life that I just am unsure as to why there's so many positive and wonderful people being nice to me? And wondering if it's genuine or not? My childhood was not encouraging of my writing and drawing interests, they were things I'd get punished for engaging in. Nobody is around these days to punish me over it though so it's such a weird thing to experience as an adult.

I'm not good with personal emotional stuff, clearly. Doubtful I'll ever accept this weak flesh sac I'm currently forced to reside in and its illogical, time consuming functions. It is my fault though, I decided to do this because I began to worry about the time I had left in this world and that I've not done what I've always wanted to do.

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Personal stuff over

In other news, I apologize for not posting anything other than the concept so far. I've been hard at work building up skill in areas of my art that I feel are weak, and of course making art friends all over again. Man, I forgot what it was like to be surrounded by like minded people, even if it's just in an online setting! I love my non-creative friends, don't get me wrong, they're equally fantastic people I love to hang with. But others who have their own worlds, characters, ideas and understand the struggle of being a creative? It's truly something else. They've made pieces that steal my eyeballs, make my dead and cold soul reach out to a musical piece they made for the first time since I was 12, and in general just having discussions and whatnot to help each other out.

I'll try to post here soon, though again, I can't promise a certain date of time before that happens.

Had a LOT of interest in a discord stream, asking if I had a Twitter or other social media to follow. So, I made one again after all these years since having one. Feel free to follow, or lurk. Doesn't matter which so long as you're comfortable. I will be posting stuff to it that may be sensitive to some viewers so I have labelled it as such. If you are a creative, ie post music, art, 3D model, whatever it is that you make, I will follow back.

https://twitter.com/BlankRobo

Drew this tonight with some new art buddies from discord, won't post the other parts without their express permission but highlights that I am quite happy to finally be done with my concept work I recently posted (https://bentsteam.newgrounds.com BentStream's little doodle below made the cut, give him a follow too):

Drawing on a canvas with others for the first time in a long time was amazing, there were 4 others who participated (Nene, Jasper, Fly, and Zodie respectively who I don't believe are on this platform). I hope to do so again soon! I will be drawing a little something based on this here photo and tonight's interactions as a treat to myself for finishing my work.

Wonder why you can't write happy things for your characters? Ugh, my heart hurts rereading things sometimes. I'm not at all a sad person, so why do I do this to myself? I'm aware I could change it, but that would change so much else too.

In other news, I'm just gonna cry inside while I finish editing these comic scripts and wonder why I ended up with more than 4 art projects to finish. One of which was an inspiration sketch when I read about some villain/hero card dealio. Didn't sign up, no intention to because I have enough personal obligations and anything involving charities... I don't want to disappoint, ya know? Here is the villain one:

Had to hide a few details before I was actually done. Spoilery spoilers be my reason. Either way, this turned into something I actually wanted to complete. The hero one, I've not yet found a composition I like of them yet, but I guess I'll complete that one to follow up this one. The morally dubious are unfortunately more easy for me to put together. Card is supposed to be "Demon of Cervii", or something Demon related. Who's the demon though, with media not actually paying attention to what's going on in the streets? People have claimed EVERY person in this pic to be the Demon at some point or another. Are they all the Demon? Is it just one individual? Who knows.

I'm gonna actually finish the other things first. Much as I love this and have now added it to the pile of to-complete's.

Ah, another year gone already. The more time goes on, the more I loose sense of it, ya know? Good thing I'm not part of the team of people in charge of making calendars.

In any case, I got some stuff that aren't doodles in the stages to completion. I'm hoping to be able post it in January, but we'll see. See ya'll next year, stay safe this New Years!

Long story short, poverty kept me from being able to obtain a replacement laptop/PC and personal life stuff went down. I am now back, and plan to expand websites again now things are relatively stable.